A Broad Abroad in Thailand follows the adventures of this newlywed expat as she tries to settle into her new home and a life full of challenges she could not have foreseen.
Her troubles begin soon after her arrival in this exotic land: from the eastern squat toilet that she must learn to use, to the auto accident on the deadly Sukhumvit Highway that should have taken her life, to the final insult—bladder surgery performed by an inscrutable Thai doctor who decided to surgically restore her virginity, and an intolerant nurse who is after her with a vengeance—and an enema tube. To complicate matters further, she leaves the hospital A.M.A. (Against Medical Advice) and has to be medevac’d back to the States with her catheter tube swaying in the breeze. As if that’s not enough to slow down even the most determined of women, she has to deal with her husband’s insatiable testosterone level-a textbook case of sexual fixation.
Interwoven throughout the fabric of her day-to-day life is an undercurrent of absolute control and jealousy perpetrated by a most unlikely source: the boss’ wife, Mrs. Anorexia, who manipulates the wives of the employees with her need to govern every aspect of their lives—from shopping, to entertainment, to friends.
In the end, it’s her unflagging sense of humor that sees her through all obstacles: from the first pitfalls and pratfalls in her new land, through times of seemingly insurmountable problems.
I know that sex is a big part of the human condition, but sometimes I wondered: if there were no sex forthcoming, would men even come around? Would they even call us, cuddle with us, hold the door for us, pull out the chair for us, put the toilet seat down for us? I doubt it. I think the Almighty realized this in Her infinite wisdom and came up with the solution. I can see it being planned: “Alright,” She’d say, “they’re as different as seaweed and sorghum so I’ve got to find something that might make them tolerate each other. Oh, I’ve got it…”